Summer is such a weird time. I've been so frustrated with it, and yet so thrilled with it that I'm really not sure how to describe what my summers are like. I was talking with a friend of mine about this and she suggested that maybe summer is more of an idea then a time period. As the school year seemed to drag on, I looked forward to the free wonderfulness of summer. And yet, every year, summer is never really quite like that. Sure I've had some times that I pictured in my summer fantasies. Like seeing my best friend every day and laughing till I cry. But mostly, having expectations for summer is not the way to go. I find myself confused and unsure about friendships. Without the daily place to go that we all have in common (like school or even band), it's as if I'm afraid I'll never see them again. But mostly I think this is because I'm going to college in the fall. And a part of me that I keep pushing away for fear of the pain, is falling apart with the thought of so much change.
Oh change. Change and I don't usually get along very well. I like how things are. I like my room being a somewhat disaster because to me, that's comforting in some weird way. I like sitting at "my place" at the dinner table because I like having confidence that from day to day, I will always have that place. I like the comfort and safety that I feel when things stay the same. And I know that that's a silly way to be. Change is a good thing, and without change the world would be kind of pointless. Everything moves on. Each day changes from one to the next. And all of these inevitable things continue to occur and for some reason I still fight it. We still fight it.
I'm not sure if I should go on because there are so many thoughts that come from this topic of change. But here's an example of why change is good. My family got a puppy yesterday :). His name is Teddy. After my favorite president, Theodore Roosevelt. He's precious. And he's a wonderful change to my house.
Seeing as it is now way too late, and I have church tomorrow, I should probably end this blog. I'm sorry for all the scatter brained randomness, but these blogs aren't for you, are they?
