Worrywart

The truth is I've always been a worrier. My family has videos of me as a small child telling my little brother, "Be careful, Jonny!" It's one of those qualities that about myself that I find extremely frustrating and a constant battle to push aside. In a way I guess worrying can be put to good use, but worrying a selfish and unhappy way of living.

I guess it makes sense that I'm a worrier in a way. It's part of my personality to care too much. And because I have this immense capacity to care, I have a tendency to worry about...everything. I worry about my friends and the choices they make. I worry about my family and their happiness. I worry about my future, and if I am on the right path in my career choices. I worry that I won't get good enough grades. I worry that I will not find the person I am meant to spend my life with. I worry that I push away people because of my worrying about them!

One of my friends gave me a quote that I find very insightful:

"Have no fear of moving into the unknown. Simply step out fearlessly knowing that I am with you, therefore no harm can befall you; all is very, very well. Do this in complete faith and confidence."

Worrying in a way, is an insult to God. It's like saying, "Yea I know you're in charge and you are in control, but I'd rather fight this battle for myself." I know this is a crazy idea especially for me to put into my life. It takes a lot of patience and faith. In fact I'm sure this is one of the hardest things to do for most people. If you think about it, our society has created an environment for worrying. Everything is so competitive and we are constantly reminded of what is accepted and not accepted in every aspect of life. But this is not an excuse to let your worries take over your whole being and the way you perceive life.

I know that I will be needing a little reminder to keep myself in my check, and hopefully whoever reads this will be brought back to a new perspective on their worries about life. Until then I feel a sense of freedom, like a weight has been literally lifted off of my shoulders. And that's because I can know that there are some burdens that I am not meant to carry. I leave you with one of my favorite verses:

"For I know the plans I have for you...plans for your welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."
-Jeremiah 29:11